Creating Rapport - Understanding Predicates

"A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs." - Joan Welsh

We use words to describe our thoughts, so our choice of words will indicate which representational system we're using. Consider three people who have just read the same book.

The first might point out that he saw a lot in it, the examples were well chosen to illustrate the subject and it was written in a sparkling style.

The second might object to the tone of the book; it had a shrill prose style. In fact, he cannot tune into the author's ideas at all, and he would like to tell him so.

The third feels the book dealt with a delicate subject in a balanced way. He liked the way the author touched on all the key top picks, and he grasped the new ideas easily. He felt in sympathy with the author.

They all read the same book. You will notice that each person expressed themselves about the same book in a different way. Regardless of what they thought about it, how they thought about it was different.

One was thinking in pictures, the second in sounds, and the third in feelings. These sensory-based words, adjectives, adverbs and verbs, are called ‘Predicates’ in NLP literature. Habitual use of what kind of predicate will indicate a person's preferred representational system.

It is possible to find out the preferred system, the writer of any book by paying attention to the language that he or she uses. (except for NLP books where the writers may take a more calculated approach to the words they use). Great literature always has a rich and varied mix of predicates, using all the representational systems equally, hence its universal appeal.

Words such as "comprehend", "understand", "think" and "process" are not sensory-based, and so are neutral in terms of representational systems. Academic treatises tend to use them in preference to sensory-based words, perhaps as an unconscious recognition that sensory-based words are more personal to the writer and reader and so less objective.

However, neutral words will be translated differently by the kinesthetic, auditory or visual readers, and give rise to many academic arguments, often over the meaning of the words.

Why? Because everyone thinks they are right.

You may become aware of what sort of words you favor in normal conversation. It is also fascinating to listen to others and discover what sort of sensory-based language they prefer.

Those of you who prefer to think in pictures may like to see if you can identify the colorful language patterns of the people around you. If you think an aesthetically, you could get in touch with the way people put themselves over, and if you think in sounds, we would ask you to listen carefully and tune in to how different people talk.

There are important implications for gaining rapport. The secret of good communication is not so much what you say, but how you say it. To create rapport, match predicates with the other person. You will be speaking their language, and presenting ideas in just the way they think about.

Your ability to do this will depend on two things. Firstly your sensory acuity and noticing, hearing or picking up other people's language patterns. And secondly, having an adequate vocabulary of words in that representational system to respond.

Conversations will not all be in one system, of course, but matching language does wonders for rapport.

You are more likely to gain rapport with the person who thinks in the same way as you, and you discover this by listening to the words he or she uses, regardless of whether you agree with them or not. You might be on the same wavelength, or you might see eye to eye. Then again, you might get a solid understanding. It is a good idea to use and makes of predicates when you address a group of people.

Let the visualizers see what you are saying. Let the auditory thinkers hear you loud and clear, and put yourself over so that the kinesthetic thinkers in the audience can grasp your meaning. Otherwise, why should they listen to you?

You risk two thirds of your audience not following your talk if you confine yourself to explaining it one representational system.

The Best is yet to come!

David Martin
Answer Concepts, S.A.
answerconcepts@msn.com