Eliciting Emotions

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anaïs Nin

Elicitation is the word used in NLP to describe the process of guiding someone into a particular state. This is an everyday skill under a different label; we are all greatly practiced in putting people into different moods, or bringing them out of moods.

We do it all the time by our words, tonality and gestures. However there are times we don't elicit what we want. How many times have you heard a phrase like, "What's the matter with him. All I said was..."

The simplest way to elicit an emotional state is to ask the person to remember a past time when he was experiencing that emotion. The more expressive you are, the more expressiveness you will elicit. If your voice tone, words, facial expression and body posture match the response you're asking for, you’re more likely to get it.

All of your efforts get results. If you are trying to put someone in a calm resourceful state, it's useless talking in a loud, fast tone of voice, breeding quickly and shallowly, and making lots of fidgety movements. Despite your soothing words, the other person will become more anxious.

You need to know what to say. So if you want to lead someone into a confident state, you ask him to remember a particular time when he was confident. You speak clearly, in a confident tone of voice, breathe evenly, with your head up and your posture direct. You act "confident". Remember this; if your words are not congruent with your body language and voice tone, people tend to follow the non-verbal message.

It's important also that the person remembers the experience as if inside it, not watching dissociated from the outside. Being associated in this situation will bring back the feelings more fully.

Imagine watching someone else eating your favorite fruit. Now imagine yourself eating the fruit. Which is the more tasteful experience? To elicit your own states, put yourself back in the experience as fully and as vividly as possible.

This is yet another avenue to travel in discovering where people are, before you take them where you want them to go.

The Best is yet to come!

David Martin.
Answer Concepts, S.A.
answerconcepts@msn.com